Episode V — Burn Them All
Before dawn, Gravos Etnad articulated a theory he claimed explained everything.
There were, he proposed, four kinds of dwarves:
- Mountain dwarves
- Box dwarves
- Ship dwarves
- Innkeeper dwarves
One of these, he suspected, leaned decisively toward malevolence.
No one argued. They were too close to the The Crooked Crown to be comfortable.
As they approached, jaunty organ music drifted out through the walls—cheerful, lilting, and deeply wrong for the place it came from. Inside, the inn was alive with sound and bodies. At least twenty patrons crowded the common room.
Among them:
- A man playing the organ
- A gaunt stranger
- Two halflings in poorly dyed green clothing
- An old prospector hunched over his drink
Behind the bar stood Molly, watching everything with an expression that hovered between interest and intent.
Most of the party entered the inn.
Basarios Heros remained outside with Muellner and the cart—along with enough Dragonglass to erase the Crooked Crown and everyone inside it. This was, in hindsight, wise.
Inside, Zovis noticed something immediately wrong.
The baby she carried—once elven—now bore dark hair and dwarven features.
No one commented. Everyone noticed.
Gravos Etnad slipped into the first room on the left at the back, just as Donald had described. The door was open. A chest lay ajar, holding clothes, fine black leather boots, and several small weapons. Gravos bundled everything quickly.
Molly offered Thorin Windfurrow a drink and the option to open a tab.
A tab.
For travelers.
Grimgrun listened closely as the green-clad halflings whispered nearby. They spoke of “cutting those Brambles” and fretted about returning without “something good.” Their clothing, badly dyed, suggested hurried allegiance.
At the bar, ChoRoke spoke with the prospector, who admitted he hunted dragonglass. Someone, the old man said, controlled the trade inland. A figure called Robber-Baron Drax.
The name settled poorly.
Gravos returned Donald’s clothes. Donald thanked him, then panicked.
His badge was missing—a gold sigil shaped like a Q, set with a semiprecious stone.
Gravos had not seen it.
Donald hurried back inside. Gravos followed. Bas took Muellner to find water.
As Donald re-entered, Molly erupted, shouting that he was banned. The room fell silent. Even the organist stopped playing.
Zovis distracted Molly with questions about stew. Donald slipped away to search again.
The prospector leaned toward ChoRoke and explained quietly: Molly had once “taken a shine” to Donald.
It had not ended well.
Outside, chaos arrived.
Bas shouted that he had food and water—then worse. Four figures had attacked him. Small. Fast. Brown-clad. He fought them off badly wounded, but two escaped with the mule, the cart, and the dragonglass.
Grimgrun ran immediately. Bas and Gravos followed.
Inside, Molly warned Thorin that Donald was a liar and not good people—though the lies, she insisted, were personal. She also noted that she traded. That she could procure almost anything.
When Zovis asked aloud about a dragonglass monopoly, the entire inn turned to glare at her.
She retreated, embarrassed, and fed the baby.
Which was still a dwarf.
The chase stretched long.
Gravos realized he could not catch them, but resolved to follow until they stopped—then nail their legs to the cart and drag them back behind it. His pack and bucket were, inconveniently, still in the cart.
Thorin caught up easily and joined the pursuit.
By the time they reached the village marked Warmhearth—or Warmhærth, or Warmshart, depending on the sign—it was clear the place was divided.
Half the buildings were painted green.
Half were brown.
The halflings stopped Grimgrun at the outskirts and told him to go back.
Gravos declined.
He was knocked unconscious before his dagger cleared its sheath.
Bas smote one of the attackers. Grimgrun produced a piece of dragonglass and threatened to throw it unless the cart was returned.
He was beaten down as well.
The crystal fell. It did not explode.
Bas fell next.
The green-clad halflings bound them.
Then the brown-clad halflings arrived, furious at the trespass. Demands were made. The dragonglass changed hands. One crystal was dropped, shattered on stone.
Still no explosion.
Something about dragonglass had been misunderstood.
Thorin, having slipped away unseen, scouted the village. The two factions—Buds (green) and Brambles (brown)—shared space without peace. They avoided violence within the village, but blood was freely spilled beyond it.
He returned to the Crooked Crown and briefed Zovis and ChoRoke.
Meanwhile, the captives woke chained to a wall, stripped to their underclothes. A halfling mocked them, then demonstrated accuracy by throwing knives close enough to matter.
They were kept awake all night.
They were told they would be sold.
By morning, Thorin had learned more.
The Buds and Brambles were both dragonglass smugglers. Their feud stemmed from a marriage meant to unite them—destroyed when a keg of Halfling Bitter appeared at the wedding. Accusations of theft followed. Blood followed that.
The heirs died.
Hatred endured.
Thorin bought a pony keg of Halfling Bitter from Molly.
After breakfast, Thorin, Zovis, ChoRoke, and the baby left the inn.
On the road, a woman hissed from the brush—the same woman who had left the child before. The baby, now gray-skinned with black eyes, reached for her.
Zovis handed the child back.
It became elven again.
The woman explained that her family was enslaved, forced to mine dragonglass. She fled before more could be said.
Thorin reclaimed Muellner and departed.
When the rescuers entered the holding room, laughter greeted them.
Chains still hung from the wall.
Rage followed.
Recorded Consequences
- The Crooked Crown confirmed as hostile ground
- Buds and Brambles identified as rival smuggler gangs
- Dragonglass properties revealed as inconsistent
- Zhellin’s wider operation further implied
- The baby confirmed as magically mutable
Connected Entries